Tom sucks

Tavar explodes, Cale has gay sex with Aleric, both get Syphilis and die

"I'm a lonely elf"

D&D’s a party and everyone’s invited

BS (Brian Stewart) Storyline

So the gourp walk all up in the crater. Tavar gets hit by a small meteorite in the head and dies immediately. His corpse then explodes. Cale and Aleric go off in the woods and screw when they both get an STD and die instantly and simultaneously. (Hey, we teach moral lessons here too.) Then a dragonborn teleports into the room and BAM! new party formed.

Actual Stuff that happened

So the new (citation needed) party containing Irieonna, Garret, Tamber, and Hoots. They head back to town and upon entering, they spot a crowd gathered around a cart. Garret immediately begins to formulate a plan along with Hoots. However, Tamber and Irieonna scope out the cart to figure out the attraction of so many to the mysterious wagon. An auctioneer stands tall at a podium near the cart, bidding off magical and regular items alike. Peaking to her interest, Tamber places money down for a gold lamp sid to grant one wish to the user. Curiously, she manages to take the magic lamp for less than 40 gold. A few more items pass and the auctioneer shouts clearly:

“Tomorrow, in haste of travel, we shall deliver the promised goods in direct trade with the competed worth at high midday!”

The party reconvenes in the rooms of inn they purchase. Garret plots with Hoots in their room and decide to bring their plan to the girls. The girls overall agree to the plan and the rough idea of a startegy ensues.

The Cart

Irieonna runs down the stairs to main lobby screaming which causes the bartender to jump out of his half-asleep state to see what the commotion is. She tries to sweet talk the bartender as a distraction. Then, Garret attempts to sneak into the kitchen but is abruptly stopped by the now angered bartender. Covering, Hoots convinces the bartender they searched for nothing more than a drink and were swiftly instructed to heaad back to their rooms.

Having failed in their primary attempt, the party opts for their plan B. Garret successfully descends down the second story window, followed by Hoots, who cathes a jumping Tamber. All three sneak to the back of the tavern and work their way back into the

FUCK IT, I’LL FINISH THIS WHEN ITS NOT 12:30

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